It's started! I've begun my first semester of coursework and student-teaching. I expected the classes to go at lightening speed and, of course, was already behind in my first week. What I didn't anticipate was how REAL student-teaching would be. I met students I only read about. They were dealing with issues of broken families, parent abandonment, death, drugs and probably more I didn't know about yet. How does a teacher teach the modern atomic theory when there parents a divorcing and they don't know where they are going to live???? Really? How does a teacher do that?
One of my students was falling asleep during a test. "You have to wake up, there's no sleeping in class" I nudged the student. Later I found out he was in heroine rehab. "WHAT?," I stuttered. My master teacher said we're just glad he's here because when he's here, he's not doing drugs. Geez! How am I supposed to deal with that?
You know it's not the teaching part that is the hard part it's the trying to teach when LIFE is going on. My first month of student teaching was hard with tears and staring at the ceiling before bed. I really am blessed. Of course, I've been successful! I haven't had the distractions that these kids have. ....my heart aches for them.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Summer Living
Summer living and the living is easy...maybe a little too easy for my liking. Here it was my first ever summer where I had no real responsibilities (okay, I had to pass the U.S. Constitution Exam--which I did--and an online Heatlh class). Granted, back in '95 I stayed home for the summer because I had just given birth to my first child but everyone who has gone through it knows that's not much of a summer vacation. It felt very surreal. There were even two trips planned to Hawai'i and New York City. It was very weird to be "on vacation" and then go "on vacation" and then come back home to still be "on vacation." I actually looked forward to getting back into school so that I would have more of a purpose to my day...to my life.
During one of my fits of complaining about working while my husband sat at home in the luxury of being laid off, I had told a colleague how I would just love to be a stay-home mom. "I'm tired of working in Big Pharma and Corporate America," I complained. I added, "I wish I could be a stay-home mom." She looked at me with disbelief. "No, you couldn't, Michele," she countered. "Yes, yes, I could!" I argued. How do these friends of mine know me better than me? Why can't I see this in myself? I should have known this. I had already tried it after I had my first-born. It didn't work then and I should have known it wouldn't work now. I only wanted to be a stay-home mom because of the "grass-is-greener" syndrome. It was Big Pharma and Corporate America of which I was sick.
As I continue my journey to my teaching credential, I'm trusting that my husband and friends will be correct again--that I will be a good teacher and really enjoy it. That I will love it because of the rewards--all those glittering eyes staring back at me wanting to know more. Okay, I know, if I have one set of glittering eyes I'll be lucky. Students aren't going to have the same expectations as I will for them. They don't realize I am trusting them with my future. I must teach them well because when I'm old and useless they will be the ones making the decisions about the future of society. They don't know that yet. They'll only care about passing my chemistry class. And you know, that's okay. They'll get it eventually but then they'll probably be 40-something and sick of Corporate America.
During one of my fits of complaining about working while my husband sat at home in the luxury of being laid off, I had told a colleague how I would just love to be a stay-home mom. "I'm tired of working in Big Pharma and Corporate America," I complained. I added, "I wish I could be a stay-home mom." She looked at me with disbelief. "No, you couldn't, Michele," she countered. "Yes, yes, I could!" I argued. How do these friends of mine know me better than me? Why can't I see this in myself? I should have known this. I had already tried it after I had my first-born. It didn't work then and I should have known it wouldn't work now. I only wanted to be a stay-home mom because of the "grass-is-greener" syndrome. It was Big Pharma and Corporate America of which I was sick.
As I continue my journey to my teaching credential, I'm trusting that my husband and friends will be correct again--that I will be a good teacher and really enjoy it. That I will love it because of the rewards--all those glittering eyes staring back at me wanting to know more. Okay, I know, if I have one set of glittering eyes I'll be lucky. Students aren't going to have the same expectations as I will for them. They don't realize I am trusting them with my future. I must teach them well because when I'm old and useless they will be the ones making the decisions about the future of society. They don't know that yet. They'll only care about passing my chemistry class. And you know, that's okay. They'll get it eventually but then they'll probably be 40-something and sick of Corporate America.
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