Friday, February 25, 2011

Learning by Modeling...

An excruciatingly painful thing happened today to me as a mother.  I watched my son deal with rejection after he didn't make the junior varsity volleyball team.  Hey, I understand that pain.  As a brain in school, I didn't have much in the way of athletic ability.  I remember one year going out for 3 different sports--only to make none of them.  That year was a real bummer for me but whoever gets comfort from their parents telling you they never made a sports team--we're all just old, washed up grown-ups--what can we possibly know?

I tried all the many motherly things to make it all seem like everything will be okay but I know that he has to find a way to deal with the rejection on his own terms.  But what struck me as hopeful was how he said he was going to try and see if he could get on the tennis team. Apparently the tennis team doesn't cut anyone.  Hopefully it will work out but there is a chance the coach will say "no" to him as the season has already started and he'll be trying to join as a late comer.  I pray that the coach will need him.  Of course, as a worrywart, I automatically started thinking the worst thing that can happen.  Since studies have shown kids that don't have extracurricular activities are prone to experimenting with drugs, I start thinking that my son will begin turning to the dark side out of boredom.

So, back to being hopeful...I began thinking that maybe the reason that he was already thinking about a "Plan B" was because I had modeled that same behavior.  When I was lowest, I came back with my "Plan B."  When others a year out from being laid off have said I wished I had done this or that right when I got laid off I wouldn't have missed an opportunity, I am comforted that I am weeks from finishing up my teaching credential.  Could that be another silver lining in being laid off?  Modeling for my son what to do in the face of adversity? Modeling is one of those things I'm learning as a teacher.  Students learn better if the behavior is modeled for them.  Makes sense, I just hope I don't have to model what to do when being told you're laid off...unless its to show that having a good, hysterical cry really does make you feel better.