Summer living and the living is easy...maybe a little too easy for my liking. Here it was my first ever summer where I had no real responsibilities (okay, I had to pass the U.S. Constitution Exam--which I did--and an online Heatlh class). Granted, back in '95 I stayed home for the summer because I had just given birth to my first child but everyone who has gone through it knows that's not much of a summer vacation. It felt very surreal. There were even two trips planned to Hawai'i and New York City. It was very weird to be "on vacation" and then go "on vacation" and then come back home to still be "on vacation." I actually looked forward to getting back into school so that I would have more of a purpose to my day...to my life.
During one of my fits of complaining about working while my husband sat at home in the luxury of being laid off, I had told a colleague how I would just love to be a stay-home mom. "I'm tired of working in Big Pharma and Corporate America," I complained. I added, "I wish I could be a stay-home mom." She looked at me with disbelief. "No, you couldn't, Michele," she countered. "Yes, yes, I could!" I argued. How do these friends of mine know me better than me? Why can't I see this in myself? I should have known this. I had already tried it after I had my first-born. It didn't work then and I should have known it wouldn't work now. I only wanted to be a stay-home mom because of the "grass-is-greener" syndrome. It was Big Pharma and Corporate America of which I was sick.
As I continue my journey to my teaching credential, I'm trusting that my husband and friends will be correct again--that I will be a good teacher and really enjoy it. That I will love it because of the rewards--all those glittering eyes staring back at me wanting to know more. Okay, I know, if I have one set of glittering eyes I'll be lucky. Students aren't going to have the same expectations as I will for them. They don't realize I am trusting them with my future. I must teach them well because when I'm old and useless they will be the ones making the decisions about the future of society. They don't know that yet. They'll only care about passing my chemistry class. And you know, that's okay. They'll get it eventually but then they'll probably be 40-something and sick of Corporate America.
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Go Michelle! I am sure that you are busy again! All of us know that you can't sit still too long and enjoy it. Only because most of us are like you, too.
ReplyDeleteAlthough we are now allowed to breathe outside of corporate America, we should prepare others, such as students, how to deal with it.
Good luck and keep the teaching dream!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Wes. Two weeks into the teaching credential program there is only one word to describe the experience: OVERWHELMINGLY REAL.
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